Would You Like More Orange in Your Life?

About 6 weeks ago, we bought Ezekiel his own drawing pad and a HUGE box of those big, thick Crayola Crayons. We jumped the gun.

At first, we would set him up with crayons and the only things that would get colored were his teeth. We waited a couple of weeks and tried again. This resulted in him using the crayons as missles and throwing them at our heads. This hurt. We decided the best way to peak his interest was not to point out the crayons, but to leave them where they became part of his everyday play and to make sure that he saw both Mama and Daddy coloring on a regular basis.

Well...this worked. He recently discovered the huge box of crayons we keep and picked out every orange variation available. He carries around Orange, Burnt Orange, Red Orange, Neon Carrot, Outrageous Orange, Sunset Orange, and Yellow Orange everywhere he goes. Oh, and he colors with these orange flavors (admittedly, he does carry around the one White crayon too). Did I mention he colors EVERYWHERE? He colors on pizza boxes, on books, on walls, on rugs, on his own face (YES! Orange colors the face!), on clean clothes that I haven't folded yet, on dirty clothes waiting to be washed and the latest art work? MY FISHTANK!

Marty and I are both super proud of him for learning how to color so we don't exactly scold him..we just keep showing him paper and how much we love to color too. At least my favorite color is Orange, too.

Speaking of orange - we bought Ezekiel his first pumpkins. He got two. One to carve and a little baby one that he got to pick out himself. He loves his baby pumpkin - he carries it all through the house with him. He also uses it to bash things. One of the things he bashes is the big pumpkin.

After bashing Big Pumpkin for two weeks, Ezekiel finally gets some results:


He wonders at what could be inside of Big Pumpkin:


hmmm...maybe it is fun to just poke at the insides:


Video of The Great Pumpkin Bash 2007:


Big Pumpkin Aftermath:


On to new adventures - he discovers that Daddy is playing Link:


Addiction...already:


OK, lets move on from Orange, Pumpkins and Video Games for a moment. Ezekiel is teething again! Why am I excited about this? Well, he is 10 months old and he only has 2 teeth..other ten month old kids have like full mouth fulls. I wouldn't be so concerned but I'm just excited for when he will really be able to eat like a pro with a whole mouthful of little toothies. I think that he is getting multiple teeth in at once though. It is rough on all of our nights (I'm sure it is rough for the neighbors too. I don't feel too bad for them - since they tend to wake us up at 3 am fighting and shoving each other into furniture).

Here he is in full pain from teething..isn't he so cute with those flushed and fevered cheeks? (we have discoved Hyland's Teething Tablets - we don't use OTC drugs, but we do use homeopath - and these have definitely helped).


Being spicy with a runny nose from all those teeth popping (notice the pumpkin...it is whole) :


"You say that Grammy is calling me?"


"hmmm. I can hear her, but I can't SEE her in the phone"

memories shared

I wrote this originally to read at Adam's funeral. I opted not to last minute as I did not feel like I would be able to finish. I am posting it here though, because I did write it for others to hear about Adam.

When I found out that I was pregnant with Adam, I sat on the floor and cried. This baby was wanted - planned, even, but I was so scared. Marty watched me for a couple of minutes, then he picked up Ezekiel, helped me off the floor and just danced with us in the livingroom. "This is our first dance as a family of four" he whispered.

For 5 months we marveled at the wonder of the situation. Ezekiel was a miracle baby. How was it that we were being blessed by another miracle? We planned our baby's future, we picked out the outfit he would wear home from the hospital. We spent many hours researching the best double strollers. Marty would kiss my belly and tell Ezekiel secrets about the new baby that was on the way. I would be woken up at night by the baby kicking. I'd whisper to go to sleep, be active in the morning.

I felt Adam kick on Monday, October 8th. On Tuesday, October 9th, my doctor couldn't find a heartbeat. I didn't know Adam's name until he was born - October 9th at 10:17 p.m. He never had a first breath. Our first kiss was shared after his death. When we were discharged from the hospital, we didn't need a car seat - the small box of mementos from his birth sat alone on the back seat.

Adam came into our lives for just a moment. A blink really. But he forever changed us. Our hearts are broken with the loss of him. Every day, they are freshly broken - when Marty reaches out to stroke my belly and then realization hits, when I feel my stomach gurgles and for just a moment I think I am being kicked.

Adam brought us hope. Love. He is our second miracle. I would pray every night that Adam would be happy, healthy, and whole. God answered my prayers - just not the way I wanted.

Forever, we are Adam's family

Someday, I know we will dance again.

The graveyard where Adam is buried (he is in the Children's Section)


Adam's grave (we do not have a stone for his grave yet)


Another pic of the little grave - the flowers were arranged by Ezekiel.


Ezekiel, waiting to go for a walk through the graveyard.


The Crocodile Tears Memory Wall at St. Mary's Hospital. All the plaques are children that have been lost.


Adam's plaque:


Ezekiel and Marty at the Memory Garden:


Ezekiel really, really wants the gourd in the Garden:


He didn't get the gourd - so he is showing his displeasure:

Adam Moses Matthews

Firstly, no, I don't really want to be sharing this.

Secondly, I do understand that people care (the phone calls are starting) and although that and this are difficult, we do appreciate people.

On that - last night, I had a beautiful, perfectly formed little guy that we named Adam. He was stillborn. Marty and I both feel shattered and we both appreciate your respect and your excitement back when we were still expecting him.

An Update on Little

In 2 days, Ezekiel will be 10 months old! That amazes me, it feels like yesterday that I was meeting him for the first time.

A couple of weeks ago, he had his 9 month old appointment. He weighed in at 25 lbs and is 30 inches long. We didn't have Dr. Tony this round (Pediatrics Associates had forgotten to schedule his 9 month appointment, so they had to get him in last minute with any available doctor). We had Dr. Margot. She got quite the kick out of Ezekiel. At first, she thought we were exaggerating at his progress. We told her that he stands by himself, he cruises on furniture, he eats whatever we are eating (I don't mash his food or anything, just cut it into bite size pieces), and he has walked some on his own. Then we told her that he is already talking, and that he loves to whistle - that is when we saw the disbelief. She asked what he says for words and we told her "arf, arf", "hello", "hi", "Daddy", "Mom", "ma-ma", "Kitty Cat", "L.E.", ba-ba (bottle)", and he shakes his head "no" and does sign language for "more". Dr. Margot says "oooohhhh....well, Hello Ezekiel" and he looks at her, smiles really big, and says "Hello!" in the sweetest little voice. Then she started laughing and said "this little guy is amazing and so cute!"

His favorite thing is to harrass the cats. It is constant. I'm constantly cleaning out huge fistfuls of hair from his hands. He periodically has a scratch across his forehead from being too rough with them. I try to keep them seperate, but in a small apartment with one rambunctious child and 3 haughty cats it is near impossible. He loves, loves, LOVES to get into trouble. Anything that is not allowed, he tries to do - all the time giggling like crazy. I'm pretty lenient too - he is allowed to do anything that won't hurt him. He is not allowed to bang on the fish tanks, and he isn't allowed to play with cords. That is about the extent of it. Oh, and he can't eat plastic (I'm so mean!). He has discovered that if he hides while being naughty, it takes me a bit longer to discover his antics. I think this builds the excitement because I am usually alerted to his naughtiness by his gales of giggling. I have to set my face, and be all stoic and pretend I'm not getting one heck of a kick out of his giggling, hiding, fun-time. His other favorite thing is to look at you with so much sweetness, say "hello" all song-bird like, and then move in really quickly for the big bite. Usually somewhere sensitive (right below your eye, your chest, your stomach, or my favorite - your big toe).

This weekend we brought him to the Fryeburg Fair. I'd tell you that we all had a great time - but not so much. We got lost going there, so the hour ride ended up being 4 hours in the car. That didn't help Ezekiel's mood (or mine). We had to stop at Walmart for my mom to run in. I sat in her Jeep w/Kevin and Ezekiel until she got back - when she got back, I went to get out and my foot got caught, Ezekiel pitched himself forward, and I just couldn't catch myself. I knew I couldn't let him hit his head on the tar, so I over balanced and twisted and fell and cut up/hurt my knee pretty badly. Ezekiel and I banged heads, but Marty managed to get his hands under us before our heads hit the tar. Later during the day, I realized that I hurt my back and pulled something in my baby-belly too. That was scary. So we ended up leaving after about 3 hours. We swung by my mom's place and let Ezekiel play in the leaves and stuff. We should have just done that - he had a blast (and it was free). Now he is in bed (where I will be heading as soon as I upload these pictures). So enjoy!

At the fair - notice neither of us look very happy:


Daddy and Baby - after the fair, heading home:


Tired and cranky after the fair (Daddy had to ride in the back with him)


FUN! Outside, playing in the leaves:


We payed $8/person for the fair, next time, we just go to Grammy's:








Video of outside at Grammy's:


Getting ready to go home:


Pooped out after a long day:


Little profile:


My world:

OH NO!!

This morning, Ezekiel was being such a great little guy, I figured I could risk leaving him in the livingroom while I started laundry and did a load of dishes. I got the laundry going and popped into the livingroom to check on him - he was doing great! He was playing with his little truck. I went back to the kitchen and zoned out a little...but then a sound got through my sleepiness. I heard a bag of chips being crumpled (I'm intimately familiar with this sound because chips are Marty's favorite and he is always, always getting into them). After trying for about 3 seconds to figure out why I would hear this, I remembered that Marty had a bag in the livingroom last night. I came flying around the corner to see Ezekiel with the entire bag poured on top of him and on the rug. He was stuffing his mouth as quickly as he could as if to say "these are great! now to just eat a few before Mom busts me!"

I couldn't help it; I grabbed the camera.