The story starts with sadness. Deep sadness that probably will never go away. When I delivered Adam, they said that my body was injured during the delivery. I had to go through so much testing as did Adam's body for the doctors to determine that there was too much scarring. I wouldn't be able to have any more children. I'll never forget the moment the doctor told me that news. She took my hands in hers, delivered the news, apologized and told me to get dressed and go home. I walked out of the doors of the procedure room, out of the hospital and sat at a bus station and just cried for everything. It felt like there was absolutely no light in my life left.
A few months after the devastating news, another of my doctors asked to meet with me. I met with her and she told me that although chances were slim, she'd like me to see a fertility expert. I went to the fertility expert who advised me on a path we could take. She also told me to do some research on alternative methods of fertility. So, that month I started Clomid, hormone shots, and some various other drugs. I also started acupuncture and Moxibustion. The drives were long to the fertility clinic, the hormone muscle shots (that I had to give to myself in my hip) were outrageously long, the Moxibustion was....well....any time something is set fire on your body, it is a little unnerving. It was a journey. The pay out is priceless.
I know you've probably heard "I knew the moment I became pregnant". I always thought that was blarmy. Until I became pregnant with my twins. I knew the moment I became pregnant. I knew the moment it was going to work. It was the second time I had IVF. It was a Saturday and the fertility clinic had opened special for us since I decided to ovulate on a long holiday weekend. It was a sense of peace that came over me. I walked out of the clinic and told Marty "we are going to have twins. I just know it." He thought I was CRAZY. Fast forward one week to constant vomiting and extreme exhaustion (while chasing around my 2 year old Ezekiel) and he was starting to become a believer. I didn't make it through my "two week wait". At 10 days post procedure, I took 3 pregnancy tests, all of them coming back positive. I called my obgyn (the same one that had faith that I could become pregnant) and told her. She sent me in for bloodwork the following Saturday (she insisted I wait the entire 2 weeks). On the next night, a Sunday, I got a phone call from the covering obgyn to tell me that there was some concern in my numbers. My HCG charts were off the charts. He was concerned because high HCG numbers early in a pregnancy are often a sign of Downs Syndrome. I pointed out to him that it is also a sign of multiple pregnancies. He agreed, but with my age, he was more concerned that something might be wrong with my pregnancy. I assured him that I was already positive I was carrying twins. He laughed and scheduled me for an ultrasound the next day.
The next day, Marty, Ezekiel, and I found ourselves in the dark ultrasound room. The sonographer stuck the wand on my stomach and my little Ezekiel cried out "I see kitty eyes on the computer!" The "kitty eyes" turned out to be two teeny babies :) The ultrasonographer laughed and said "Not kitty eyes, you are having twins!" To this day, I've never seen Marty so close to passing out in my life.
Being pregnant with twins was an entirely different experience from a single pregnancy. Right away, I tested positive for gestational diabetes. I had to control it with pills, insulin shots 4 times a day, diet and exercise. I was warned repeatedly that chances were very high that I would have to go on bed rest later in my pregnancy, that my twins would come early, that they would have to stay in the NICU if they were early, that I may have to travel to Portland to have them. Because of all of the concerns, I had to travel to Portland twice weekly for ultrasounds and counseling at the Diabetic Center at Maine Med. I think the trend of that year was needles and blood work! I was so bruised up! I grew VERY quickly being pregnant with the twins. Ezekiel was still co-sleeping at the time and he would often complain that my tummy kicked him awake all night. I was terrified of being put on bed rest (how would that even be possible with a very active 2 year old?!) so I would walk 3 - 5 miles a day, pushing Ezekiel in a jogging stroller. I finally stopped walking at about 7 months pregnant as it was cold outside and I was about 55 inches around.
When I hit 36 weeks, I still had not been put on bedrest. I had struggled with high blood sugar, dehydration, diabetes issues, exhaustion...but no bed rest. During my 36 week visit, I BEGGED my doctor to schedule me for a c-section immediately. I didn't feel like I could even go another moment pregnant and I was considered full term for a twin pregnancy. When she refused (after checking with the head doctor in Portland), I burst in to tears. It was the most exhausted I've ever been. At 37 weeks, I trudged through the snow with my giant Crocs on (the only shoes that would fit on my Fred Flintstone swollen feet) and waited to hear that I had another week to go. This time was different though. My head obgyn in Portland (that I had only even met once) was on vacation and my obgyn (that I trusted completely) was concerned about some blood work that I had had done. I had wound up in the hospital two nights previously because my blood sugars were "wonky", even after eating two entire bags of Jelly Bellys. Apparently, Noah's and Corbin's placentas had sort of shut down and were no longer accepting nutrients. While I was giving myself massive insulin dosages, I was dropping my blood sugars dangerously low. She sent me up to maternity to be monitored. What I didn't know, was she was frantically scheduling and preparing to do an emergency c-section on me.
One of the nurses walked me up to the waiting room and whispered in my ear "call your husband. Your babies are coming today." Shocked, I started calling Marty and my Mom...begging my mom to leave work so she could come pick up Ezekiel. We simply had not prepared to have them come after my appointment!
While waiting for my c-section a nurse came in and insisted on taking my picture. She told me that some day, I would want it...I've never ever shared it until now. But here it is. She also measured me - final measurement of my stomach? 61 inches.....rounder than my doctor is tall!
Although nervous, Marty was ready to get the show on the road!
This is what it is like to try to lay on your back when you have 15 lbs of baby hanging out inside of you:
Delivery was compared to going through a car accident in which your body is thrown from the vehicle after said vehicle has flipped a few times by my anethesiologist. I'm not going to debate that. It was rough. I was rolled out of the surgery 30 lbs lighter than when I went in. 15 of those pounds were my two very large, very healthy newborns.
Here's Noah Alexander during his initial weigh in:
Here's Corbin Gabriel during his weigh in:
Here are my absolutely gorgeous sons the moment I met them. There were two pediatricians in the surgery with me. They immediately brought Noah and Corbin over to me so I could kiss them and give them quick snuzzles before being carted off for their Apgar testing.
There were some issues with Corbin being unable to stabilize his blood sugars, so he had to wear an IV for awhile. The boys did not have to go into the NICU ... they were the size of newborn singletons and just as healthy. We stayed at the hospital for 3 days so I could recover from my c-section.
Ezekiel (who had just turned 3) got to meet his brothers on their first full day. The first thing he said about them? "They're obnoxious!" If only he could have known then how much that obnoxious relationship would continue between the three of them!
Here are some other pictures of the twins during their first days, Ezekiel meeting them, and getting ready to go home:
