sleeping arrangement

We have a king size bed. I am not a restful sleeper so this has always been necessary. Ezekiel has TWO beds. One is a beautiful sleigh crib in his own bedroom (we haven't let him sleep in there yet because it isn't in our room and because we can't seem to regulate the temp in there and it is always freezing!) the other is an Arm's Reach Co-sleeper that I just needed to have so my sister Mandy paid the $130 for it for my babyshower. Here is a picture:



Notice how empty it is. This is because Ezekiel has decided he likes to sleep elsewhere:



yes - my king size bed. Sandwiched right between me and Marty on his own special cosleeper (it really is a cosleeper, just designed to use on a big-kid bed). That way, he needs only squawk when he loses his Nuk or needs his bottle, or maybe a diaper change, or wants to hold hands, etc..etc...etc.....

Christmas Eve and Christmas past

phew.

Thank goodness that is over with. Not that I don't like the holiday season, it was just really different and kind of rough this year. I'm exhausted. Marty is exhausted. Ezekiel is exhausted (and not feeling that great). And sometimes, it just seems like there is too much other stuff going on that we forget to appreciate the little things on the holidays (like, did Marty and I even get to stop and kiss each other once during those two days?)

Christmas Eve, we went to Marty's nana's for dinner. That was nice (very different without Papa there though). We got home a little after 11p. Ezekiel decided he didn't really feel like sleeping so we took turns trying to get him to sleep and then around 4am, Marty told me that one of us had to drive to my mom's at 8:30 that morning, so go ahead and get a few hours of sleep. I did...I woke up at 7:00 and Marty was able to grab an hour of sleep (Ezekiel still hadn't slept). I think I sleep-drove to my mom's. When I got there, I kind of crashed into a chair and didn't really do much talking (or moving - thanks for handing my gifts to me ). Someone walked off with Ezekiel and he was passed around and coo'ed over for hours so he was happy even if Mommy and Daddy sat comatose in the corner the entire time. I don't remember much of the morning (I do remember the mushrooms I put on my eggs - they were really, really delicious), but I do remember it was a nice Christmas. When we got home (after sleep-driving the 15 miles back), Marty crashed for a nap and I was finally able to get the Little One down for a while so I could nap too.

I don't have any pics of Ezekiel to post (we forgot our camera) but I'm sure I'll get some from my mom and then I'll post.

belly button!

Ezekiel lost his umbillical cord the other night - so now he has a perfect little belly button. It is funny, it is almost like his belly button can't decide if it wants to be an innie or an outie, so it is half-and-half.

He slept through the night two nights ago - unfortunately, I was such a nervous wreck wondering why he was sleeping so much that I only managed to get in a half hour of sleep. Last night he slept less so I was able to sleep a bit better :) I'm still a walking zombie though. He eats, eats, eats - then he sleeps..when he sleeps, I try to sleep. It is a weird feeling to feel so suddenly removed from society.

another, another pic

another picture. This one shows how exhausted Marty is and how unkempt he has become (I think I'm there too) ;)

Another pic

Here is Ezekiel being a little smooshface. We had sort of a rough night again last night. As he is a partial breastfed baby (the rest of his milk is pumped from me but not directly from the breast) he has to eat a "certain way" - meaning, he can't just lay back and enjoy the drip-drip-drip of milk from the bottle into his mouth. He has to sit semi-upright and work for it; otherwise, he gets lazy with his suck and he can't latch on. So, last night we went to my mom's and I was all together happy to let people take turns feeding him. I forgot to mention his eating style though. What this meant, was last night he just wanted the milk to dribble into his milk (and since breastmilk gets digested within 2 hours of eating it, he wasn't getting enough milk to satisfy his hunger....so we would have to start all over 15 minutes later). This meant a real lack of sleep for us. After his doc appt today - in which he met with the utterly fabulous Dr. Tony - we came home and I fell asleep. Marty (being Marty) took Ezekiel and entertained him for 2 hours so I could completely crashed. They took a "nature walk" through the apartment looking at the sights, played some video games, and did some serious hanging out.

Pumpkin Pie

Well, I've been discharged from the hospital but Ezekiel is still there. Talk about tough. He is a little trooper though - well, he is a little Big Trooper weighing in at a beefing 8lbs, 8oz.

Labor was as tough as everyone says. Mine was medically induced for 24 hours of hard labor w/out drugs as the doctor tried TWELVE times to get a spinal in me but all I got out of the deal was pain and bruising all up and down my spine. After 24 hours of labor, 8 cm of dialation, and tons of frustration, they realized that little Ezekiel was positioned in an inverted breach crazy position where at least his head was in the birth canal but there was no way I was going to be able to deliver him naturally. So, they did an emergency c-section with some local anethesia that still allowed me to feel my organs being plopped onto my chest. Then I heard E. cry. Then, I saw him being carried across the room in Marty's arms and every hurt flew away. I got to give him about 4 minutes of kisses, then he had to leave and I had to go to recovery for about 4 hours. It was so awesome to go upstairs and meet him and hold him though!!!

We are heading back in as they are going to board us while Ezekiel is still there..but here are a couple of pics.

Marty and Ezekiel yesterday; notice how yellow Ezekiel is.

finally..well, almost

Next week I'm going to be a mom. I keep going into these panics and being like 'wait, wait! I'm not ready. I just got married! I like being just a couple. I enjoy my freedom. I'm too young, I'm just a kid myself!' Then I'm like..wait...I've been happily married for almost 7 years; we are a good, strong couple and a baby isn't going to ruin that; we tried for this....for years...and I'm not young or a kid anymore (actually, I'm pretty old to be starting out on this). Thank goodness for Marty being rational. When I get really bad, he manages to squeeze in behind me in the bathtub, wash my back and talk me through my panic.

ahhh, there you are!

Today, at our ultrasound, we found out that he weighs 4 lbs, 5 oz! Up a full pound in the last two weeks.

sometimes, people are incredible

So I thought that next weekend was my babyshower. My mom was really upfront about it, telling me that she wasn't even going to bother trying to make it a surprise.

My mom is a liar!

Today, she and I were supposed to go to Portland to pick out my co-sleeper. We get on the turnpike when she "realizes" that she forgot her wallet. So, we have to turn around and make the long journey back to Buckfield. When we got to her house, I noticed all of the cars parked up the side of the street - I thought something had happened to her husband (although, she didn't seem overly concerned). It actually took getting out of the car and seeing Marty (who supposedly went into work early today) walking towards me while all the kids hollared "surprise!" to realize that I had been bamboozled and that my babyshower was TODAY! (thank goodness I took the time to shower!)

It was amazing!!! So many thoughtful gifts and so many people! We barely have anything left to get - just crib sheets, a car seat bunting, a boppy and that is about it (I think....of course, I would have forgotten some of the very basic things that we got today). So many thanks to everyone there - I love you all, and I know Baby Z will be better for just knowing you!

24 Weeks

I'm in love with being pregnant. I love knowing that there is a little human that is part of me and Marty growing in my body. I love knowing that I've hit the time of viability (although, I tell the baby every night to keep hanging in there - every day that goes by is one more day for him to get strong so he can survive out here). I love when Marty talks to my belly and the baby pushes to get closer to him. I especially love when Marty gets kicked in the chin by a flying fist/foot/knee/head - I think we can safely call the tyke Baby Blade. It seems wierd that in 3 months my uterus is going to be empty again. Marty keeps telling me that it won't be sad - that I'll have our little boy to hold. It is hard to explain the feeling that comes with having a baby inside of me - I never knew this, but I honestly do not think that you can be closer to a person then a mother is with her infant when carrying him/her.

Still no name for Baby Blade though.....

Baby Matthews is a Tricky Trickster

Today was our BIG day - the day of the 5 month ultrasound where they check everything possible - the heart, the stomach, the legs, the arms, the brain, the knuckles, the gender.....the list goes on.

So, we got there and lo' and behold, Little Lily Sunshine Matthews just wouldn't cooperate and show us the goods. Susan - the sonographer - checked out everything else though (it was a good three hour ultrasound). And then this....thing....popped up on the screen. And we realized, Little Lily has a willy. Quite sizeable, unmistakeable BOY PARTS! We are back to square one in terms of a name, thinking about the baby, pronouns, everything! Good bye Pink Clothes....good bye Hello Kitty.....good bye Cute Little Pig Tails...and hello to Little Man Matthews.

Bed Rest is Stinky

So, I've been sent to bed - for three straight days. They call this bed rest, but really, it feels like bed-arrest. I'm incredibly bored...I'm supposed to just lay there, flat on my back, with my feet propped up. I've read two novels (crappy ones by Nora Roberts), watched movies (Disney ones because I have watched all mine and have to borrow them), whined incessantly (about everything), and just been miserable! OK, I'm heading back to bed.................sigh.

Meet Baby Matthews

Meet Baby Matthews. Weighing in at a mere ounce, and just hitting 3.5 inches, Baby Matthews has already been called "the most stubborn baby I have ever had to deal with". Twice. By two different sonographers.

We have gone THREE times now to get testing done and the baby will not cooperate. It was a simple test too - the baby simply had to turn on its little spine, look up at the ceiling and hold still. Instead, the baby kept kicking me and then standing on its head. I TOLD Marty when I first got pregnant...'my luck, this kid is going to be a monkey'.

This is a pic of the baby on its head.

5 minute blog

I've decided that pregnancy is tough. Mostly because I have become so incredibly ditzy. Seriously.

Wednesday, I took a corner in Portland, hit a giant hole, and watched in my rearview as my hubcap went flying across the 4 lane road. Marty did run down the road and retrieve it for me.

Last night, I did a night deposit for $75. Today, I checked my balance and it said "deposit $25". I freaked out, called the bank and had them look for my checks for TWO HOURS. Later, I sent Marty to the car to look - he found them. Apparently, I had two deposits but only knew about one of them....

Oh, and my belly? freekin' huge. Last night in bed I was trying to roll over and I kept saying to Marty "I have such cramps, I don't know what is going on". He says "hun, I think you are smushing your belly..try lifting it up to move it". So I did - and sure enough, everything was better. My boobs are still bigger than my belly though - I think they are bigger than the statue of liberty. They are amazing (like a World Wonder type deal).

I told Marty my 10-year-secret and he told me his and that was really good. I feel like an incredible weight that I didn't even know was there is now gone.

Yesterday

Yesterday, we went to the doctors again for a new ultrasound. Last week, we could only see the embryotic sac. Yesterday, we saw the sac........then we saw our baby!!!! Right now, it/he/she is just a little tiny bean with arm buds and this big, huge heart pumping away. We got to hear the heartbeat too - it was absolutely amazing. The most amazing thing ever to hear and to know is that this is growing inside of me. To see that, baffled me to think about things like abortion or smoking/drinking while you are pregnant. I'm a garden that is growing a little shana-marty baby. It already has a heart and I'm only 6.5 weeks along! The heart beat was 129 - so fast and seemingly so loud! Marty asked for pictures of the baby so we got two pics as well, so our baby's photo album has begun :) It's just like a new version of falling in love.

still in shock

So, I'm still in shock, but at least now I can spend some time blogging about it :)

I had to go for blood work on Wednesday, and again today and everything looks good!! My HCG levels are coming along nicely - which is a very positive thing. I just want to shout from all of the mountaintops - YAY ME! YAY MARTY! WE ARE HAVING A BABY!

It's funny. We went through so many tests for well over a year trying to figure out what was wrong .. then we just said "we can't do this fertility stuff anymore". I personally was so weary from going to the doctors weekly, spending half our paychecks on ovulation kits, co-pays, and medicine. I just felt like 'ok, I have to give this completely to God'. And then..now...I'm pregnant. Gosh, I just feel like singing.

On a different note, Marty likes the name Meadow Ivy Matthews for a girl. I'm not sure yet. Jacob suggested Meadow Rose today...that kind of rolls off of my tongue easier. For a boy - who the heck knows.

whoa......

oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness....I just have to breathe.